You may meet your PIR while they are in the midst of working Steps Four through Ten and be curious about what this "amends making" is all about.I was so unfamiliar with the Twelve Steps that I didn't know enough to ask Steve about them or if he had done them.
Ultimately, these Steps are about asking for forgiveness and forgiving others.It is obviously very important, therefore, for PIRs to identify and release their resentments in a constructive way.My friend Paul told me about helping PIRs make "resentment lists." He said at first they'll say "heck no, I don't have any resentments," until they actually start listing the people and things that make them angry.In other words, there's often a lot for them to "unlearn" in recovery.
In Twelve Step programs, and especially in Steps Four through Ten, PIRs learn how to develop healthy relationship skills.
As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.